Category Archives: Thoughts On Marriage

Should A Christian Woman Do A Boudoir Shoot? | Boudoir Photography Portland Oregon

I am a Christian, completely devoted to my Savior, Jesus, and I am also a beauty and boudoir photographer. Every once in a while I’m asked about how I can be both. As the boudoir photography industry becomes more popular, a lot of Christians are asking, “Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot?” I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on this.

Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot? This modestly sexy black and white boudoir photo shows a woman in a tight, lace, black dress and black heels on the edge of a messy bed. The photo was taken by Photography by Rayleigh. For more info, visit

What is a boudoir shoot?

Boudoir is pronounced Bu-dwah or Bu-dwar. It is technically defined as, “a woman’s bedroom or private room for dressing or resting.” So in the photography world, that involves a portrait shoot that a woman does privately for her man, usually in lingerie.  Oftentimes, the motivation for a shoot is to create a gift for your husband, however, you’ll find that a portrait shoot with Photography by Rayleigh is a very pampering experience. It creates a space for you to feel feminine, lovely, and even sexy. Women spend far too much time comparing themselves to other women they see in magazines or on TV. Often feeling “blah” about themselves. Especially tired mommies who feel more like a mom than a woman, most times. Do you relate to any of this?

Men are visual.

God created men to be highly visual. They can’t help it, it’s the way they were built. They are bombarded with images of sexy woman all the time and no matter how much they try to look away and avoid lusting after the women in those images, it’s inevitable that some of those images are going to get in, and stay there, and even pop up from time to time. How great would it be if his memory was chalked full of lovely images of his wife and the majority of the images popping up in his mind were images he could cherish and feel good about?

Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot? This modestly sexy boudoir photo shows a woman in a tight, lace, black dress and black heels lying on her tummy on a messy bed with her feet up. The photo was taken by Photography by Rayleigh. For more info, visit

A full marriage.

When your man chose you to be his wife, he, hopefully, chose you based on your Christ-like qualities like patience, kindness, humility, faithfulness, honor, trust, truth, and hope. Those are the basis of the truest love, as we see in 1 Corinthians 13. As a bonus, God wants us to also enjoy our spouse’s body and to enjoy physical intimacy. 1 Corinthians 7:3 In a healthy, Christian marriage, a woman should feel sexy, desired, and appreciated for all aspects of herself, including her body. Even with it’s imperfections. When a woman doesn’t feel good about the way she looks, she doesn’t bring to the marriage that needed energy that can really help fuel physical intimacy. A glamourous photoshoot can give a woman that much needed confidence. It’s really amazing what a little sexy confidence can do for a marriage.

Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot?

As you can tell by now, I’m a fan of boudoir shoots. Many of my Christian friends have enjoyed giving sexy photos to their husbands. However, it’s also true that I do have a small number of Christian friends who believe that wearing lingerie in front of someone who isn’t your husband, including a photographer is something to avoid. I love and respect those people and their thoughts on this. So I think this is just something for each woman to pray about and see what God is telling them about how to answer this question.

Maybe a beauty shoot is more up your ally. If you don’t feel comfortable wearing lingerie for photos, I 100% get that. You absolutely don’t have to wear lingerie in your portraits to feel feminine and lovely. A beautiful dress can be just as empowering, while being modest. I invite you to check out my beauty gallery to see more photos like this. In fact, I’m falling more in love with beauty shoots and have recently expanded my focus to include all kinds of beauty sessions instead of focusing solely on boudoir photography in my business.

Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot? This modestly sexy boudoir photo shows an Asian woman in a peach coral dress and bare feet up on the head of the bed. The photo was taken by Photography by Rayleigh. For more info, visit

The who, what, and when of it all.

Boudoir or beauty photos are an amazing gift to give to a Groom on the wedding night. Valentine’s Day, birthdays, and wedding anniversaries are other occasions when glamorous portraits would be a very special gift.

There are a lot of amazing photographers to choose from for your shoot and you should find the one that is the best fit for you. As a Christian, I encourage you to hire a female photographer if you are wanting sexy portraits.

My boudoir style is very conservative, as far as this genre of photography goes, so if you are more on the shy side or you just want to keep things tame, I’m the photographer for you! My boudoir images are sensual but beautiful and tasteful and not over-the-top sexual.

Will my photos end up on your website?

Although, I used to share boudoir photos on my website, with permission from my clients who felt comfortable with that, I’ve recently felt more inclined to keep my client’s more intimate photos private. So now, when talking about boudoir photos, I try to share photos that have a sexiness to them but are still modest. Like what you see in this post. I have a private link to more photos, for those who are interested in doing a boudoir shoot. Of course, I only share photos with permission from my clients who feel comfortable with it.

Should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot? This tightly cropped black and white modest boudoir photo of an Asian girl accentuates the lips. This photo was created by Photography by Rayleigh. For more info, please visit


So, should a Christian woman do a boudoir shoot? Please pray about this and determine what kind of shoot might be right for you. Whether you feel that a boudoir shoot would enrich your marriage or if a beauty shoot is what would give you the confidence boost you need, I’m here to help. If you’d like to learn more about what a shoot experience is like and what to expect in my studio, please check out my video about that.

If you are ready to schedule your beauty or boudoir shoot, or if you have any questions, please contact me! I’d love to talk about it more with you.

Groom’s Gift Idea | Boudoir Photography Portland Oregon

This handsome guy is my brother-in-law, Rod. I had the pleasure of photographing his beautiful Bride-to-be, Alison. She had the album of bridal boudoir portraits delivered to him on their wedding day. I can’t imagine a better Groom’s gift idea for the wedding day!

Groom's gift idea. This is a wedding image of a man receiving a boudoir photo album as his wedding gift. For more info about boudoir photography, visit
(Wedding photos used with permission by Kirsten Hammericksen)

I love what Rod had to say about the photos.

“A few months before our wedding, my fiancée went to visit Rayleigh to have some sexy photos taken. On our wedding day she completely surprised me with a boudoir photo collection book and had her maid of honor deliver it to me just before I saw her in her wedding dress for the first time. What a great groom’s gift idea! Thoughtful, memorable, and a clever way to help with any pre-wedding jitters. The photos were tasteful and classy and sexy. As you can imagine, it was a topic of much interest and discussion among the groomsmen.”

Groom's gift idea. This is a wedding image of a man receiving a boudoir photo album as his wedding gift. For more info about boudoir photography, visit
(Wedding photos used with permission by Kirsten Hammericksen)

“She was a little nervous about getting it done, but said that Rayleigh did an excellent job of helping her feel comfortable. Really allowed her to let her own personality show up in the photos, and I can tell. Good times and great memories every time I see that little book of fun! We undoubtedly recommend Rayleigh to anyone considering doing it. And if you haven’t considered it, you should. Take it from a recently married man, it was a great groom’s gift idea.”

–Rod L.

The Bride’s boudoir photos

Wearing white for boudoir photos always adds to the bridal feel and I love the lace robe that this bride wore. Lace adds interesting texture and looks so feminine.

You might also consider bringing some wedding day accessories, such as your veil, wedding shoes, and any special jewelry.

Groom's gift idea. Boudoir photography by Rayleigh. This is a backlit modest boudoir image of a woman in a lace robe on a chase. For more info, visit

Groom’s gift idea

Having the album delivered to your groom in his dressing room while he is getting ready for the wedding is a fun idea because it adds to the anticipation of seeing his beautiful bride walking down the isle and for the fun honeymoon you have planned together.

Another option, though, is to gift the album to your groom the night of the wedding, when you are alone and winding down from an amazing day. I really like that idea, too, because it’s fun to look at the photos together. You get to see his expressions as he looks at the beautiful images of the woman he cherishes.

Want to see more?

Click on the links below to see more photos on the following topics:

Bridal Portraits
Boudoir Portraits
Session Tips

Please contact me if you’d like to chat about your bridal boudoir shoot for a great Groom’s gift idea!

Mature Love

Image by Kacy Kizer. For more reading about mature love, visit
An image from my wedding by our photographer, Kacy Kizer

Lies at the alter

Before Nate and I got married (in 2010), we were reading a book called, Lies At The Alter by Dr. Robin Smith out loud together and there was a paragraph that really struck us.  

The paragraph read, “Truth must precede love.   Otherwise, what we think is love is just an illusion. The promise of truth is freedom.   You can stand at the alter and say, ‘I’m not here because I feel forced to be here.   I’m not here because I’ll die without you. I’m not here because it’s my last chance.   I’m not here because my parents will be pleased, because everything is paid for, because I’m too embarrassed to back out.   I’m here because I chose you. We stand exposed before each other.   You see me.   I see you.   And we say, “Yes!” It’s an informed, full fledged yes.   We choose to be together,’ That’s mature love.”

In love with love

It seems that too many people fall in love with the idea of love, and not as much in love with the actual person that they chose to marry.   Then when the infatuation fades and the illusion dissapates, they are stuck with someone they aren’t happy with.   They don’t understand what it means to be married.   They don’t know how to get their needs met or how to meet their spouse’s needs.

Last chance

Other people get married because they think they found someone who will work out okay for them and they think it may be their last chance to get married.   For those who have yet to get married, I plead with you, never think in those terms!   Don’t let the thought affect your choice in the least!   I have thought like that in the past and I cried to God, asking him why he would let my chance slip by like that.   I must have looked so silly to God.   He knew there was someone a million times more perfect for me than any of the other loves I wanted so badly in the past.   After falling in love with Nate, I thanked God with everything in me for not letting my past desires be fulfilled and helping me to wait for the right one.

Mature love

I’m confident in my marriage and in our ability to stay happy because we see each other for who we really are.   And we love what we see.   And we desire to meet each other’s needs.   We know the impact of not meeting each other’s needs.  

Romantic high’s are great, but they don’t last on their own.   You must have a sturdier foundation that you can keep building on.   And then you have to put in effort to keep romance alive in your marriage.

Living in truth and reality and being well rooted in your marriage is the key to mature love.